Have you ever had an irrational fear? You know it’s just ridiculous but you can’t help your pounding heart, your sweaty palms and your shallow breathing. You tell yourself to get it together, breathe deeply, everything will be fine. But you can’t get the thoughts out of your brain! You are definitely not alone. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, phobias are the most common anxiety disorder in the United States. More than 19 million people suffer from some sort of phobia. The number one fear being public speaking, with a whopping 25.3 percent of people saying, “No way I’m going up there!” This can lead to loss of jobs, problems in school, in the workplace and even in social settings.
What is fear? According to the dictionary fear is described as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, like to cause pain, or a threat. But where do our fears come from? Why is one person scared of spiders, another of heights or even clowns? Sometimes the fear is a learned response from a past personal experience. I once had a friend who was terrified of crabs because her siblings used to stick them down her shirt as a young child. My sister to this day is afraid of clowns because of horror movies we watched as kids. (It’s a miracle she ever entered my bedroom as I was an 80’s clown collector in my teens). Sorry, sis. But what fear really is believe it or not is something we can actually overcome with some understanding.
You may have heard the saying that FEAR is actually false evidence appearing real. It really is all in our mind. It is a feeling, not actually something tangible. It does cause a reaction in our body though, the same reaction as excitement. It makes us take the easy road, it doesn’t allow us to break out of our comfort zone easily. We use what ifs to stay in our little bubbles of self contentment. We say things like, “What if I take that job and I am not smart enough to do it?” Or, “What if I go on that road trip alone? I might get mugged.” Or in my case, “I can’t go speak in front of all of those people, what if I screw up or they make fun of me?” The bigger question is what if you are smart enough to do the job? What if your adventure is all you ever dreamed it would be and you felt safe the whole time? And what if the crowd you are speaking to is helped immensely by what you have to offer?
Mel Robbins, CNN commentator, television host, author and motivational speaker has some seriously simple yet fantastic advice. She explains that because the reactions in the body are the same for excitement and fear but the brain does not perceive it we have to trick our brain into believing we are excited instead of fearful. For example: If I am getting ready to go give a speech about my experience with cancer to 300 people, my palms are wet, I’m shaking, my stomach is gurgling and I am kind of freaking out. My brain perceives this as fear, so to trick it into being excited she advises the 5 second rule. I count down from 5 to 1, and at that time enter my anchor thought. An anchor thought is a positive thought or outcome of the experience. So at this time I think to myself, “I am so excited to go out there and share my story with this audience so hopefully they won’t feel alone, or I can help them in some way.” Sounds like a good strategy doesn’t it? I will definitely try this next time I am faced with this situation. You can see more in depth about her secret here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n8i7ua0mSw
